Gosh...Just now I was so pissed off that I just HAD to cry... I couldn't hold back my tears any longer! Haiz... [Minus points for my fasting...] I've tried my best not to cry but I just had to... I was praying when I cried... Oh well, I'm not THAT angry anymore now... Actually I'm not angry at all now. Everytime after I check my friendster, I won't be angry or sad or whatever... I'll always be happy! Hehe! Coz I always cry when I feel not needed by anyone...Typical thoughts of a loner... But whenever I check my comments, I know that some people still treasure me as their friend... Especilly Aiha and Terrence... For friends who don't give me comments at Friendster but I still know they treasure me as their friend would be Diyana and Maizurah... The rest...I don't know...

I feel not needed by anyone in this world anymore... Nobody understands me anymore... I got backstabbed by too many friends that my heart feels numb to even try to believe in "bestfriends" anymore... My heart got broken by someone I really trusted and whom I really thought would understand me... The mended pieces of my broken heart fear that the next person I love will do the same thing to me too. I hope he won't... =(

I laugh a lot and what people think is...She must be a happy girl, free of problems, lucky her... Well think again. I laugh a lot in school coz I guess that woud be the only time I can laugh. I don't have friends outside school...And my family is too busy with their own stuffs... And now I'm considered crazy for talking to myself since I HAVE NOBODY ELSE TO TALK TO! Either my family are just not interested at all to know what I really feel, or I'll just get scolded for telling the truth sometimes...

Everytime I hear voices in my head... Sometimes I have suicidal toughts in my head... And most times I just wish that my teddy bear is alive, at least I would have a friend. Sometimes, even I think I need to go for couselling... This stupid stress and depression is driving me nuts! I can't even determine my own emotions sometimes... And when I can't, all I wanna do is cry. But all these negativity in me is overcome by my belief in my religion and the other voice in my head which constantly motivates me to carry on. Nobody may understand me, but I know Allah understand me... And since nobody can make me happy, I shall make myself happy instead. I guess I'm just at the first stage of depression, when I can't even determine my own emotion... It's still at an early stage and I can get through this whole thing...Hopefully... Oh I just read an article on depression... It states that...

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) states that a depressed mood is often reported as being: "depressed, sad, hopeless, discouraged, or 'down in the dumps'." In traditional colloquy, "depressed" is often synonymous with "sad," but both clinical and non-clinical depression can also refer to a conglomeration of more than one feeling. Such a mixture can include (but is not limited to) anger, fear, anxiety, despair, guilt, apathy, and/or grief, in addition to what many people would describe as typical "sadness."

Well, I guess I am depressed huh? Hahas! But that's the early stage... A mixture of emotions... Anyway, I tend to feel better after blogging! Hehe! And I'm happy already! I'm having mood swings most probably... That's why I'm happy for a second, and sad for the next second... 3 days of mood swings and my menses still haven't come! The symptoms are killing me! I lose patience easily which seriously cost me those 'points' for fasting! Argh! I must try my very best to remain calm somehow... Hehes... Ok la... I have to go now... Laptop's battery running low and I want to do some revision on my E-maths... I'd better not disappoint my mother for my 'O' Levels... I MUST get a distinction for my E-maths... Gotta go now! Toodles! =)