Look who said she won't blog
for 1-2 days for good... xD
At least I didn't blog for a day! Hehe!
Nothing much to say about yesterday...
Or should I say, nothing to talk about at all.
Yesterday was terrible...
And what the hell... I'm blogging at 2.55 AM.
I can't sleep... Though this migraine
is driving me nuts... I just can't sleep.
I guess thanks to the crying I have migraine.
Okay why do I wanna blog so late?
Main reason... I want this load off my chest.

Things have been quite rough
between me and certain people.
And it drives me nuts and makes me
think negative like almost all the time, and made
it seem impossible for me to think positive.
Which led to the misunderstandings,
overly-sensitive moods and of course...
Quarrels and bickers.
That simply leads to nowhere but more tears.

Yesterday, I couldn't really concentrate
on my sewing, and end up screwing up
every little things... And I felt like crying.
Managed to hold back my tears,
which slowly turned into anger and
of course... ruin my mood.
What I expect to be a dress, turned out
so ugly that I categorise it as a nightgown.
Utterly disappointed with it... Haiz...
Messaged someone and thought
it would make me feel better...
However, it didn't. In fact, it became worse.
Due to the telecomm connection problem,
another misunderstanding arouse...
Add on to my mood... Yeap, you've guessed it.
Chaos and overly-dramatic moods.
Over-dramatic moods doesn't include the
thought of slitting...I'd categorise that
under overly-stupid moods.

Friends worry that I might slit.
Don't worry, never again will I slit.
But I appreciate your concerns. =)
It seems like today, I spent it alone.
Thinking. And more thinking.
Though a certain point of time,
I couldn't help it but to cry hysterically
and mourn over whathas happened.
With the messy hair, bloodshot eye...
It's complete. I was a mad woman.
To add on to that, I looked in the mirror,
and talked to myself... But not just blabber.
I encouraged myself... Trying my best
to bring back my old self... Who
was strong-willed... And such a
positive thinker and never did the thought
of giving up crossed her mind...

I even forgot who I used to be...
And I thought I've lost all the joy in my life
after something I've never imagined, happened.
It was like a whole week filled with tears
and sorrow that seemed to have no endings.
Until one day, a guardian angel came...
Always there to brighten up my day...
And giving me encouragements to live on...
How could I forget all these joy he has given me?
Just because of some silly arguements?
I can't believe how selfish and childish I am...

The summary of all I've said to myself
in the mirror was simply...
Everything happened for a reason...
I have to stop lying to myself and be strong again.
I have to accept reality, appreciate with
what I have, and not mourn over what I've lost.
Depression was never in my vocab.
It was just happiness, joy and laughter.
Revenge was never in my to-do list.
It was just forgive, forget and move on.
I rarely cried not because I was a rough type of girl.
It was because I was strong-willed.
I'm still the rough type now, though not
as bad as I used to be... But I'm weak-willed.

Oh here I go blabbering about in my blog,
as if anyone is gonna read all these bullshits.
And why should I care about what people think? (:
What's important is what I think...
And I think that this is my blog, and
I don't care if people think my posts are long,
coz I've never forced them to read right? (:

Yesterday, I cried and sweared like
there's no tomorrow... But it helped.
Some people told me to end it is the best.
But I don't think that's rational..
To end it when it has just begun...
So I guess if I quarrel with my husband in the future,
I should just get a divorce? I think not. (:
Teenagers can be categorised as young adults.
As a young adult, I think my mind is mature
enough to think that to call it quits
won't resolve anything, yet worsen things up.
As a strong young lady,
I wouldn't give up that easily. (:

Being emo was the last thing on my mind 2 years ago.
But the year after all I became was
a stupid emokid. But now...
After much thinking. I'm back to myself. (:
It's easy to motivate & encourage others,
but it's not easy when it come to yourself.
Through the years, I've encouraged many...
And they see me as a strong person...
But the truth was, I'm weaker than they were.

I've listened to so many opinions.
And I end up with nothing I really want.
So now, I'm back to my old self..
And I will listen to my heart...
And my heart says I shall live life to the fullest.
And appreciate all the things around me,
and ignore every single word in the song,
"All these things I hate (revolves around me)"
By Bullet For My Valentine... (:
I've been reading P.S. I Love You...
Surprisingly I've survived till chapter 26...
And I'm still enjoying the book. (:
I learnt a lot from it...
I can be like Holly Kennedy too!
I think she's a strong person! (;

I used to remember how nice my eyes were.
No sunken eyes nor dark circles...
After much crying... My eyes are so ugly.
And became smaller? o.o... Haha!
Let's not just relive my life...
I shall relive my beauty as well...
Beauty day used to be every Saturday...
That was before prom... Hahas!
Now, it shall be every single night. (:
And when poly starts,
I'll get back to every Saturday...
I'm still young and shouldn't neglect my beauty.
Now is 3.44 AM. Today shall be the last
day I'm gonna sleep late.
Need my beauty rest... (:
And I shall start losing weight the healthy way.
Crash dieting only give me health problems.

And I don't want my guy to worry about me so much. (:
Gosh... He's probably the main victim of my
simply terrible moods... =X
So in my public blog, I shall say,
I'm truly sorry and we shall not be a
couple who fill our memory lane with quarrels.
And the word break up shall be banned for
misunderstandings... Only use it when
either of us really cross the border, like...
Found somebody new? Something like that.
Not because either of us replied one's sms
30 minutes late... That's dumb... (:
And sorry for not truly appreciating you
all these while... Especially your patience. (:

I guess that should be all for now...
I will blog again later tonight... 3.54 AM.
What the heck... Still not sleepy...
Let's chat with Diyana! Hahas!
Or... Continue reading P.S. I Love You...
Darn I'm addicted to that shit... xD